Mr. Smartypants

by Jeffrey Duane Stone

iguana and boy

Sacha arrived at school early thinking that this was going to be the day, the day that no one would confuse his name. The day which he would not have to, explain the meaning of his name. Sacha’s name rhymed with such a….and every one, all day long, called him Such a Smartypants. After all, Sacha’s full name is Sacha Smartypants.

Sacha did not want to explain his real name today…especially on his special day…his own birthday…

Sacha Smartypants was a wonderful name for someone kinda geeky and weird. Sacha was so involved in sports and Iguanas that he only wanted to play Tennis and walk his pet Iguana named Iggy Wiggly. Sacha likes Iguana’s especially his Iguana, Iggy Wiggly. Iggy Wiggly possesses a dewlap, a row of spines running down his back to his tail, and a third "eye" on his head. Iggy Wiggly was a fine specimen of an Iguana, and Sacha was proud to walk him on his leash.

The 8:00am bell announced the start of a new school day. Sacha walked down the school hallway to his first class. He walked in hurry so that no one would stop him to chat about his name. Couldn’t anyone start-up a conversation without mentioning “Where is the name Sacha, from?” Sacha always had his same reply ready… from the Greeks or Russians, and the meaning of Sasha is "man's defender, warrior".

Sacha was in a hurry so not to miss his first class which is History. This is for sure going to be the best part of today which is his special day….Sacha loved History class and gleamed with joy to read his assignment about the Caribbean islands. Especially since Iggy Wiggly originated from this same exact place. A place called “Los Haitises” a National Park in the Dominican Republic.

Sacha walked into the classroom ready to take his seat when three boys caught his eye. Why it’s Such a Smartypants! Sacha new trouble was ahead. Sacha stayed quiet as he sat down in his chair in the classroom. Where was the teacher? How could the teacher be late, especially on this day! Sacha wanted to hide, but there was nowhere to go. Sacha just sat there, all frozen with what was about to come. The boys marched around the chair chanting SUCHASMARTYPANTS, SUCHA SMARTYPANTS, again, and again, without stopping. Sacha thought he must have turned all shades of green like Iggy Wiggly. What could he do? And, why hasn’t the teacher arrived?

Sacha stood up suddenly, and his chair crashed to the floor, making a big bang sound. That’s precisely when the teacher walked into the classroom.

“Mr. Smartypants”, shouted the teacher! What is all this commotion about? Then the teacher walked to her desk and wrote something in her notes.

That did it! That really did it! Sacha Smartypants was not going to be blamed today, especially on his special day.

Sacha exclaimed in distress and pointing, “Those boys, those three boys”. But Sacha could not finish because the teacher was now standing adjacent to him and pointing to the door of the classroom. “Go” said the teacher, “Go to the principal’s office.”

Was it to be that Sacha was not going to be allowed to read his report about the very place that habited Iguanas? Sacha just looked down and slowly walked to the door in disbelief. Exiting the worst possible day, this was supposed to be his special day.

When Sacha arrived at home, it started all over again. What! No cake was left out on the counter to celebrate his birthday. His parents were both doctors and today both were in the hospital working a late shift. Sacha couldn’t believe this was his special day! That wasn’t special at all!

Sacha decided to go to bed early, wake up early again, and go back to school. At least he didn’t have to go to school alone to face the boys that were bullying him. Iggy Wiggly was going to accompany Sacha since tomorrow was Pet Day in science, at school.

The 8:00am bell announced the start of another new school day. Sacha walked down the school hallway to his first class, holding on to the leash that walked his precious Iguana. Iggy Wiggly didn’t mind. Iggy Wiggly just wiggled his way to the science classroom where Sacha was going to present him. Iggy Wiggly even wiggled more today than usual.

The teacher welcomed Iggy Wiggly and its fierce defender, SACHA SMARTYPANTS. Sacha walked right up to the front of the classroom and without saying a word, the three boys that Sacha was trying to avoid, approached the Iguana. “What a sight”, said one of the boys. And then, all three boys were asking if they could walk the Iguana. Sacha was relieved, and had no choice but to welcome the boys to walk his genus pet. The boys oohing and aawing as Iggy Wiggly showed them what an Iguana could do. The boys were asking Sacha to invite them to his house, and they wanted Sacha to go with them biking to see more Iguanas in the local Pet Store. Sacha was so delighted that the boys were now asking to be his good friends, and wanted him to join them. Sacha was having a great day!

When Sacha arrived at home his Mother called to his Father to come downstairs. “Wait a minute my dear Sacha”, exclaimed his mother. We want to have a few words with you about something very special, someone whom we love dearly.

And, then his father walked carefully downstairs holding a birthday cake lit with 10 candles for the very person they loved so much. “Happy Birthday”, said Mother. “Happy Birthday, my great warrior”, said Father.


The End

© Jeffrey Duane Stone "All rights reserved", copying will constitute an infringement of copyright

The author lives in the Dominican Republic.

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