Gay characters in children's books

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Gay characters in children's books

by Lydia

Two Moms...or Not?

Okay. I am a lesbian in a committed relationship. I started writing a children's book featuring a character with adoptive lesbian parents. (My partner and I are planning to adopt some day.)

Well, as I started getting more and more into the story, it became more and more about the protagonist's story, and less and less about her parents and their sexuality...as of course it should be! My book didn't want to be a statement; it wanted to be a story.

So here's the problem: my partner, who isn't a writer, is upset. I've changed the parents to heterosexual birth parents. Why? Because that's what most parents are, and those are the types of families most children are born into, and I want my book to SELL. My partner thinks I've simply sold out.

I don't know if I'm looking for answers as much as I'm looking for sympathy. Anyone?

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Gay characters in children's books

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gender, gender, gender
by: Steve B. (webmaster)

OK, Lydia, you have my sympathy, but as a man I'm constitutionally unable not to offer an opinion/idea:

Parents seem to be fading into the background in your story, which is what the story wants. Surely, they still exist though. Can I suggest that you find an opportunity to name one of them, and that you name her after your partner? Maybe that'll make her feel better. And maybe you can also get away with not mentioning a dad, so that the story parents aren't clearly not lesbians.

FYI
by: Michael

Gay and lesbian characters in children's books.

What's Your Point?
by: Julius

Hello and thanks for sharing. I read your post three times to make sure I was not missing something.

The title of the story is I assume "Two Mom's or Not" The title leads me to believe the topic is related to two moms. As I continue to read your dilemma I notice that you say the story as you were writing turned out to be more situational and relevant to the child and that the context did not pertain to the title or shall I say to two gay parents. Hence you changed the parents to male female! If you are changing the characters to better tell the story that makes sense. If you are merely changing them with the notion it will sell more books then yeah I would say "sellout". Write from your heart and let the story be.
So without rhyme or reason What's the Point? What is the point you are trying to relate with the story? That is where I would begin and end!

Just my humble opinion.

Thanks
Julius

My mistake
by: Steve B. (webmaster)

Julius, just to clarify: it was me who added the picture, along with the caption, "Two Moms...or Not." So Lydia didn't have any intention of giving the book that title. That was just me misleading you (unintentionally), I'm afraid!

Steve

What is the message?
by: Anonymous

If the story is not about a kid relationship with gay parents and how that affects his life then maybe you should stay with the heterosexual parents. But if the story is about helping others understanding others, keep the book with the gay characters.

Think about the final message.

Clarity
by: Julius

I see!

Well then I apologize for any unintended confusion. It was not my intention to assume anything and I only had the post to go by. "My Point" was only to focus on the the story line or message wished to be conveyed.

Thank You for the clarity!

You think you've got spouse problems?
by: Glenda

:-)

Webmaster's note: I think Glenda is referring to her own post.

A Slave with Too Many Masters
by: Anonymous

Hmmm...I read 3 things from your comment:

1. You want to adopt
2. You have a serious partner
3. You want your book to sell
4. You want to make a statement about lesbians
5. You want your main character to have her own voice (this voice may or may not 'speak' to the above objectives) because that voice belongs to herself.

Go back to your character and really listen to what she is telling you and what she needs from you...

As for the publishers - research books that have lesbian parents...they are out there.

Write another book just for your partner next.

If you haven't read, Writing Down The Bones, I think you would enjoy it. It has lots of inspiration in it for saying it like it is...good luck to you!

cutting edge
by: noah

What a great way for the tri gender community to show their connection to family values.To express themselves as loving people who came from loving parents who supported their choice of life.
This can help parents who have tri-gender children explain the family as a circle of love that cannot be broken.

Keep them!
by: Anonymous

Sorry, no idea how old this post is - but I am trawling the net for a GREAT and FUN kids book which does simply have lesbian characters (particularly mammas) in the background. I really would prefer the sexuality to be incidental, and the book to be enjoyable in and of itself. No moralising or deep 'message'. Have you had a look at Julia Donaldsen's 'Tabby McTatt'? Look at the pics. It's a great example :)

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