Fireman Fred and the Zoo Rescue
by Jeff Sojka

We've got kittens in trees and children to please,
and wet fire suits to hang in the breeze!"

This day it seems was to start like most,
boiled cabbage and crab cakes and jam splattered toast!

But today was a day of the most special kind,
Fred had no clue what was about to unwind.

No trucks to wax or stuff to paint red.
No, today would make heroes of Amos and Fred!

While the morning sun never bothered Chief Charlie,
The smell of boiled cabbage was always so gnarly!

Being chief is a job that Charlie admires,
helping old ladies and putting out fires.

But each morning passes and chief Charlie begs,
"Fred, for once give me Bacon and Eggs!!"

"Fred! Come quick, there's a call from the zoo!
The Zookeeper says there's a job we must do."

"The zoo?!" cried Fred, without taking the call,
"no animal shall be harmed, neither large nor small!"

"Wake up Lucy, we've got to go!
Hurry, hurry, stop moving so slow!"

Lucy the Ladder truck wasn't the fastest in town,
but she knew all the shortcuts to make up some ground.

"Fred! Stop pulling, I may be old and slow,
But tell me where it is, and I'll know where to go!"

All the animals from A to Z,
were sure to be rescued by Fred and Charlie.

When they got to the zoo,
Fred knew just what to do:

"I'll save the monkeys, the zebras, the kangaroos too!
The pandas, the snakes, and all critters that move!"

With a heroic leap into the crocodile pit,
Fred splashed in the muck without using his wit!

Fred clung to the hose with all of his might,
while the crocs clung to Fred with the strength of their bite!

Each tiger gave Fred a rodeo ride,
bucking and leaping with Amos beside.

Fred corralled the tigers one by one,
Saving each tiger was sure lots of fun!

The rhinos steamed when Fred came near,
but Fred approached without any fear.

The Elephants Fred couldn't budge
like remembering some ancient elephant grudge!

"Fred," called Amos, "stop fooling around,
get them to safety before we burn to the ground!"

"Fine," said Fred, "then grab my arm,
together we'll keep this one safe from harm!"

When Fred came to rescue the grizzly bears, he saw just one cub,
"I'll save him first..."
But from outta nowhere came Mama Bear!
Fred's had bad ideas, but this could be his worst!

How do you rescue the tallest animal around?
Luckily this giraffe stayed close to the ground.

Fred grabbed the giraffe and tried to stay low,
but when he raised his head, Fred quickly said: "Look Out Below!!!"

Fred can't catch what Fred can't see,
"come back with my hat you silly monkey!"

Monkeys swung in a swirl of action
till Chico arrived and provided distraction.

Chico is Charlie's zippy chief car
without Chico around, Charlie wouldn't get far!

Chico loved singing wherever he'd go,
singing along with his own stereo!

Fred enticed monkeys with a bunch of bananas,
while they moved and grooved to the sounds of Santana!

It sure could be said that Fireman Fred's
got more heart than his suit's got red!

Saving the animals was never for glory,
but this is where Fred finds the twist to our story...

The Zookeeper rushed, "Fred! What have you done?
The animals must be put back one by one."

But you called and we came!
Now where is the fire? Is this some sort of game?"

"Game? Why no, we aren't at all cruel.
We called you to fill the new Penguin Pool!"

"But Fred! Don't speak!
If it's fire you seek,"

The zookeeper said without hesitation,
"They've spotted smoke rising from your fire station!"

"smoke from the station! What will we do?"
Was the stove left on? Could it be true?

"Fred! Hang on! The fastest way back
is to let Chico think he's on a race track!"

Chico arrived at the station in near record time
But the scene to our heroes looked like a crime.

"Uh Chief, I think there's something I must say."
"Did you leave the stove on?" "I think that I may!"

Smoke rolled from the windows and out charlie's ears,
"Fred, I've lived here for near 20 years!!!

Now get in there and put out that blaze,
and maybe you'll get that 50 cent Raise!!!"

The station was filled with thick black smoke,
flames in the kitchen, this isn't a joke!

Fred tried to extinguish and snuff out the fire,
but cabbage boiled over and flames grew higher!!!

When the white foam hit the green goopy mess,
the pot exploded in a steamy distress.

When the smoke cleared and the flames were erased,
Fred and Charlie laughed and embraced.

"Fred, you saved the Zoo animals for mere recreation,
you left the stove on to burn down the station!"

"You've been mauled by bears and bitten by crocs,
you spent 20 minutes chasing that fox!"

"Now I'm covered in goop and this stench fills my home...
Please Fred, next time, "Pick up the phone!!!"

Copyright Jeff Sojka, 2008

Jeff lives in Iowa, USA.

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